|telepathic bond with horses!
||[May. 16th, 2008|09:12 pm]
The Spiritual Side of ED Recovery
I'm feeling energy quiver in my toes. I'm feeling it race through me. I feel spirals and tendrils of it slipping out my hair, curling around my ears, buzzing around my eyes and pouring out of my fingertips. I want to speak, and when I do, there will be magic. Blue magic, which swirls and stirs in the air. I'm feeling energy, magic, myself-ness curling, shivering, quivering, being in the air, in myself, I am electric.|
Where does this electricity come from? I am a horse person. Oh so much. Let me tell you, my friends, I went to this equine (horse) workshop which was absolutely right for me. Totally right and natural for me.
Why was it so right? Because the second, or nearly thereafter, that I stepped out the porch door to go have experience #1, being with the horses (no touching or talking), I felt an IMMEDIATE psychic/telepathic link with one Arabian, Justice. OMG, you guys, I heard ze ask me, "Don't you want to come closer?" I wasn't shaken by this, but rather was like, "oh wow!" And as I drew closer, a few steps at a time (holy shit guys, a horse is talking to me, and I'm hearing it crystal clear like it's the most natural thing in the world and I've been able to do it all my life and just now "realized" it), I began to be hit by giggles. Pure, pure joy just running, racing, turning cartwheels within me.
It was AMAZING, holy fuck, seriously. I've never experienced such utter, pure joy MINDFULLY, as in all in my head but definitely in my body and racing everywhere else (there was no other person in my head, just this connection), with a four legged being. Well, I have with a cat before, actually, but not this words-connection. I think it had to be words to get my attention or something like that, but after that, words weren't needed. It was all this telepathic joy-bond.
So anyway, after that happened, we had this body scan meditation where I felt, "well I certainly don't need this so I'll do my own thing." I was tempted to move away from the group, but something kept me there, a herd mentality or something like that, and I began writing stuff, really important stuff that made total sense to me and filled me with a sense of empowerment. I was silent, no disturbing the other humming beings.
Then, OMGOMGOMGOMG the SECOND exercise was called "give and take" where you get to choose the horse (though in I think all three cases (two other participants, other than me) the horse chose us) and you're in the paddock with them and you walk until they give notice, and eventually they come to you or not. And coming to you is a powerful experience, like giving them the full reins in the relationship, acknowledging the authentic self that is a free spirit, deserving of all the room and space it needs.
Not coming can be just as powerful, as one participant found out - ze found out, after talking with the group leaders in some degree of frustration, that the horse was suffering a respiratory illness and so wasn't feeling well. I know I wouldn't reach out to someone, if I were ill, but might wait for them to, or not, if I didn't feel like I wanted contact - and so ze went back to the horse and began to pet it, which was a huge release for me energetically and emotionally since I'd been watching this interaction and did in fact know what this horse wanted.
Mine though.. I went first, and omg, it was.. wow. I knew that the Arabian who had chosen me would come to me, it was only a matter of time. Ze played around, rolling in the dirt (to which I laughed aloud as it was FUNNY, and I felt the joy of it from zir), eating some grass, trying to engage me. But I wouldn't have any of it.
Instead I simply watched and waited as ze finally came to me, and oh. my. god/dess. it was like shaking hands with myself, with this shining being who had finally decided to just stop playing and be real. Ze was like a puppy in my hands, and we nuzzled and it was just amazing.
I really felt totally at peace there, totally myself, able to move around, and I let the connection play out as long as it would, then left it feeling joyful.
I still hear zir voice in my head, as a guide.
I'm amazed. Absolutely amazed. And yet, it feels right, and totally natural that I would have that sort of connection. Just wow.
cross posted to my own journal, to isistemple, and spiritsisters